If we are always cultivating our past as a means of predicting who we will be in the future, then there must be some connection between our memories, perceptions or emotions (depending which of these we choose to focus on) and how we see our “self”.  Lisa Feldman Barret, a scientist who has studied the brain for over 30 years, believes that because our brain constructs meaning from the various features associated with any event, the “self is a fiction” because it is something we created through our thinking and the meanings we attached to events. These “fictions” or “what we tell ourselves”, she believes, can interfere with our ability to interact in the world in an authentic way. 

For example, there is no sensor for feeling uncomfortable. Our brain is constructing that! An event may have a bunch of features attached to it. Our brain makes sense of that pattern of features as a particular emotion. For a more complete explanation, see our blog Memories and Mindset.

While some features lead to experiences that are close to what is in the world (e.g. seeing a colour such as red), other features we experience may differ a lot to what is there. Some features we can make-up, while others we can agree on.  Feldman Barret explains how we can convert a stomach-ache into a particular emotion, creating a “social reality” that often has a direct relationship with our “physical reality”. This can also affect how others treat us. If it is our brain constructing the meaning associated with various events and their features, then how real is the “self” that is based on these constructions? She asks “How real is your name?” and “How real is your reputation”?

Our “self” versus our “higher self”

Feldman Barrett concludes that the brain doesn’t do things frivolously. If we believe our behaviour is “irrational”, we might use this as a label, but most likely there is some other goal your brain is trying to optimise.

This leads me to the concept of a “Higher Self”. Put simply, our Higher Self is that eternal part of us, that expresses itself through our creativity. It is what some describe as our connection to the Divine, much like all of nature is connected to an over-arching Creation that has little to do with mankind’s achievements. Mankind can put men on the moon or spaceships on Mars, but they have little to do with creating the moon or Mars.

This other goal your brain is trying to optimise can only be understood if we take the time to turn within and understand how we feel. It is connecting with our deepest emotions or feelings. This too is a skill. It is a skill I did not appreciate enough and only in more recent years have taken the time to explore. And as I have, I’ve noticed that I’ve grown in self-acceptance, bringing with it a greater sense of peace.

While self-awareness is useful, we need more than an identification with how we see ourselves and how others see us. We need an appreciation and awareness of what nourishes us or brings joy into our daily lives. Funnily, when you gain an appreciation of this, you recognise those elements at play as a child. For example, in my case, it has been

• A love of creativity
• A love of learning and words
• A love of family and social connections
• A love of food

There is often a strong connection between our choices and intentions and how they align. Take a little time each year to observe simply what your child enjoys. What do they gravitate towards. Foster that love or talent, so that when they do come to make important career or vocational choices, it will reflect these very fundamental, “eternal” aspects that really make us who we are. While scientists may conclude that the “self is a fiction”, when it comes to our “higher self”, I prefer to think otherwise.